


Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise

by danslavie



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Adultery, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Sibling Incest, Smut, Twincest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:03:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4989523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danslavie/pseuds/danslavie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cersei and Jaime rekindle their incestuous childhood romance when Cersei's recent and disappointing marriage to Robert Baratheon leaves her wishing for a new life.<br/>Will include more characters down the road but is primarily Cersei/Jaime. Takes place prior to Joffrey's birth. Not all chapters include explicit material, those that do will be marked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter does not contain E-material.

                Cersei lay unclothed in her bed chamber barely moving, barely breathing. She felt as if she no longer wanted to be living, though she certainly didn’t want to die. She simply didn’t want to be in her position any longer. Queen she may be though it hardly felt worth it. Being queen meant nothing at the moment other than being married to the king, and being married to the king meant laying with the king and this she was sick of.

                The sun was setting low in the sky meaning she’d be expected at dinner in any minute. But she’d recently stopped caring about what was expected of her. Soon enough a handmaiden would come along and coerce her out of bed, telling her it would not be proper to keep the King and his men waiting. She would dress silently in the gown that had been slightly torn by her husband’s oafish hands as he removed it from her just an hour or so beofre. The tear would not be fixed until she went to bed, and it’d be too short notice to fetch her a new dress. The handmaiden would complain how indecent it is for a queen to appear at dinner in a torn gown and Cersei would just nod. It is indecent, all of this is indecent.

                It was indecent of one of the King’s men to come fetch her as she watched the sea from her usual spot in the garden, not even the King himself, to tell her that he requested her presence. Her handmaidens would giggle as they all knew the King only requested her presence for one reason. Cersei went quietly with as much dignity as she could muster, she tried to will Jaime to intercept her summons but he was nowhere to be seen. Not that even the Queen’s brother could overrule a King’s order to bed his wife, she liked to think that he could. That Jaime, or anyone in the world for that matter, had the guts and the power to stand up for what she wanted. So far, that did not appear to be true.

                The Queen and her King, her beloved, despicable King, were then shut alone in a room. She always felt dirty being bedded in the sunlight. When every contour of their bodies was visible, when the tears that welled in her eyes and the sweat that dripped from his stinking body were impossible to ignore. But a bedding at night was currently not sufficient; they’d been married for two months and she was showing no signs of child bearing. People whispered of her throughout King’s Landing, and she knew what they said to be true: she was no real Queen until she bore her King a son.

                A knock finally came to her bedchamber’s door. She should have risen and greeted her visitor properly, though technically there should not have been a visitor at all. She knew it was well past the time she was expected in the hall for dinner.

                “I’m not well,” she simply yelled to the door. It was not a lie, she had not been well since her wedding night.

                “Cersei, it’s me.” Her twin brother’s voice brought a perk to her spirit.

                “You may come in.”

                Jaime entered the room to find his sister not at all how he’d expected to find her. She laid diagonal on her bed under a thin sheet, arms splayed out to the sides and her long golden hair hanging off the edge of the bed.

                “If you’re trying to play ill, you’re not doing a very good job,” he teased, closing the door behind him and approaching his sister’s bed.

                “Robert makes me ill, I need an entire week’s rest before I’m pushed down and forced to lay with him again.”

                “You know they’re expecting you at dinner. They haven’t waited for you this time, I think they’ve grown sick of that. But you’re still expected.”

                “Tell them I’m ill. Tell them I’m near death and if anyone wants to see me alive again they’ll let me spend my days in peace and not like the common whore that His Lordship prefers me to be.”

                “You’ll fall out of favor quickly if you ignore your duties as a Queen.”

                “I’ve done enough of my duties for the day. Maybe with luck he’s finally put a filthy little child in me so he may keep his distance for the rest of our happily married lives.”

                “Cersei-”

                “Please Jaime, will you please tell them that they will not see me this evening. And send my maids to draw my bath. That will be all.”

                A sparkle behind her brother’s eyes dimmed. He’d come to talk to her, to tell her something besides her needed presence in the hall or else a maid would have come in his stead. She wanted not to care what her brother had to say. She wanted to be able to treat her brother how she treated most people in her life, with a cold indifference so as not to get hurt in the long run. But she could not, she loved him and she stared into his light blue eyes searching for an answer until he turned around to leave her alone.

                “Jaime,” she said, not wanting to be left alone just yet.

                “Yes, sister,” he spun around quickly, their matching twin eyes focused on one another intensely.

                “Was there anything else?”

                “No… well,” he walked closer to her bed and she sat up, keeping the sheet tight to her naked body. He took a seat by her feet and took her fragile image in. She looked helpless, desperate. He wanted to help her but he had no clue how to. He rested a hand on her leg, her breathing quickened. “I just wanted to make sure Robert was treating you well.”

                “He treats me like his whore, but what is to be expected from some barbaric Baratheon oaf,” Cersei’s cool and indifferent demeanor was fading as tears began to well behind crystal eyes. “I hate him Jaime, I hate him. And tonight he will return, no matter how much I protest that I am ill or tired, and he will fuck me into this bed until I can barely breathe. He’ll crush me and humiliate me until he’s satisfied, until he’s certain that that time was the time a Prince was planted inside my cursed womb. I can’t bare it…” she trailed off, her sentence interrupted by the tears streaming down her reddened face.

                “Shhh, Cersei, it’s alright,” Jaime attempted to soothe her, sitting beside her and taking her fragile face in his hands. “I will tell them you’re far too ill for company, Robert won’t want to risk falling ill in your presence. Perhaps they’ll think it morning sickness and he’ll keep his distance until the end of the month. Cersei, this will all be alright.”

                “That’s easy for you to say,” she said, pulling away and violently wiping her damp face. “You will never know the hell that my life has been twisted into.”

                “Cersei,” he said, a smile spreading across his lips. He remained calm for her, strong for her as he always had. He placed a hand at the nape of her neck underneath damp hair and beside smooth, porcelain skin. She leaned in to him, hesitant before wrapping her arms around him, letting the sheet covering her bare chest to fall to her waist and pulling herself tightly to her armored torso. Her tear stained cheeks graced the sensitive sides of his neck and his hands wrapped tightly around her naked back.

                “Jaime,” she whispered, it’d been so long since she’d felt his warm and comforting embrace, his strong hands on the bare skin of her back. “Jaime, my love, my brother. She kissed his neck and he sat still, always unsure of how to react to his sister’s affections. Her mouth soon trailed to his, landing in a kiss far from innocent. Their senses in a haze and their judgement blurred, Jaime was quick to push his sister back down onto the bed. He wanted to love her as he once had, several time before but far too long ago. They’d loved each other wrongfully at their first opportunity as young blossoming children, but it’d been since Cersei betrothal to Robert that they’d last shared each other’s bed in secret. “I am to be the Queen,” Cersei had said coldly to her desperate, loving twin brother. “A Queen does not lay with her brother, she lays with the King.” This was before she knew she’d quickly grow to hate the King. This was before she realized she’d grow to miss her brother’s company.

                “We can’t,” she quickly turned her head away from his, just as his hands began trailing down to grip onto her exposed breasts. “Jaime, you know we can’t do this. Please Jaime, get off of me, please.”

                Jaime collected himself as coolly as possibly, trying to remain unaffected by his lover’s rejection. “I need you again Cersei, and you need me. Don’t pretend like you don’t.”

                “I need to rest. I will see you at breakfast if I’m well enough to attend.”

                “Goodnight then, my Queen.”

                “Goodnight, my brother.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter does not contain E material.

                “Are you feeling better this morning, your Grace?” the young handmaiden ran a comb through the Queen’s long, golden hair. She tried not to pull at the knots as she had been instructed, though every time she came across one she struggled. She masked her struggles in fruitless conversation.

                “Yes, I believe a night’s rest has been good for me. I fear our good King wore me out yesterday.”

                The young girl blushed at her Queen’s insinuation but continued combing through her thick curls. “Do you think that… well, not that you would know… but I overheard someone say that this may mean that… well, you know…”

                “Are you asking me if I’m pregnant?”  Cersei smiled a false smile, as if the thought of having a Baratheon inside her actually made her happy.

                “No, no, I was just wondering if you thought that you… well, never mind, it’s not proper for me to ask I suppose.”

                “No, I suppose not. And don’t worry, you will find out if I’m pregnant or not surely as soon as I do.”

                “Yes, I suppose you’re correct, your Grace,” the young maid began to pull and twist at the Queen’s hair, attempting to remember the complex and regal styles she’d been instructed on.

                “Oh, don’t bother,” Cersei said, swatting the maid’s hands away from her hair. “I’ll wear it down today.”

                “But, your Grace-” The maid met eyes with the Queen’s reflection in the mirror. “That’s not the style of the Queen, that’s the style of a young maiden, a little girl.”

                “I don’t care. Please lay out my dress so we can both move on to some other pointless task.”

                “Y-yes, your Grace,” the girl curtsied and moved to the Queen’s wardrobe while Cersei stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked far different from the young maiden she once was, but she looked much more like herself. She was happy to cling onto her youth as much as possible in the few months she had left as a motherless woman of only nineteen years.

                Cersei did not see her husband again until dinner that night, and she had Jaime to thank for that. Robert looked upon his Queen idly and as sweetly as he ever had. He too must have assumed her pregnant after her brief illness. She wanted to laugh at the naïve assumption, though she couldn’t laugh for long. For all she knew she was pregnant, which would either be the end or the beginning of her true suffering.

                She walked arm and arm with her husband back towards their respective bed that evening and he commented on the rumor that had already spread throughout King’s Landing.

                “You do seem to be glowing this evening, Cersei.”

                Cersei turned her head and rolled her eyes. Only at the first imaginary inkling of a pregnancy does he decide to be gentlemanly after treating her like an animal for the past several months of their marriage.

                “I know no more if these rumors are true than anyone else, your Grace,” she commented as politely as she could. “I was simply fatigued last night, that is all.”

                “Well, I am glad you’re feeling better now, nonetheless. Shall I visit your chambers later tonight?”

                She paused in her stride, trying hard to enclose the smile spreading across her face. He was giving her an option, to which she was free to refuse.

                “Robert, my husband, I think tonight may be a bit too soon. I will need all the rest I can get, especially if,” she placed her hand on her stomach, playing along with her husband’s naïveté.

                “Of course, my lady,” he bowed his head to her and leaned in to kiss her. She went along with it, pretending his breath didn’t offend her as much as it did. He finished walking her to her bedchamber and thankfully that was the last she saw of Robert Baratheon that evening.

                The Queen settled into her bath as her maid’s left her in privacy for the evening. She closed her eyes, tilting her head back to rest on the edge of the tub as the warm water soothed her skin. It was the first day all month that her body was not left sticky with sweat after laying with the King. She reveled in the joy of having her body to herself for the night, knowing that it would not at all last long.

                A light knocking sounded from the other side of her door, jolting her from a peaceful meditation. She wanted to throw a candle stick at the door, warding off whoever was disturbing her at that time of night.

                “This had better be important,” she said, in a low and quiet growl.

                “It’s Jaime.”

                She let out a sigh of relief despite her continued annoyance. “Come in.” She answered after a long pause.

                He was not expecting to find her in her bathtub, her naked body on full view with her long damp hair clinging to wet skin.

                “Can I help you, or did you come to stare?”

                “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head and quickly closing the door behind him. “Is Robert visiting you tonight?”

                “No, whatever it was that you told him seems to have worked.”

                “I only told him you were ill. It is everyone else who assumes you’re pregnant.”

                “Maybe I am pregnant,” Cersei looked down at her flat stomach. Oh, how she wanted it to bear a child soon.

                “Maybe you are,” Jaime took a seat on a stool beside her tub.

                “I’ll play pregnant until the next time I bleed if it gets him to leave me alone. Even then, if I can keep it a secret…” she trailed off devising how to keep such a thing secret from her half dozen spying hand maidens.

                Her brother smiled down at her, trying not to let himself be tempted by the sight of her naked body. However, he couldn’t help but admire how she’d grown increasingly beautiful in her maturity, her breasts now much fuller than when he’d last laid with her. All he wanted was to touch her again, to be with her again.

                “Will you join me in the bath?”

                “Cersei,” he laughed. “And pretend like we’re children again?”

                “No,” she said bluntly. “I don’t want to pretend to be a child with you again at all.”

                “No one will come in here?”

                “No one’s supposed to. But be quick about it,” she hugged her knees in tightly to her chest as she watched brother undress. His body was so vastly different from Robert’s. Robert had grown increasingly fat since their betrothal, his once handsome face growing rounder with every indulgent meal. Jaime’s body was still young and lean, his back was perfectly sculpted and his legs were strong and toned.

Cersei scooted her body to the middle of the tub, to allow Jaime to get in behind her, to wrap his legs around her sides so that she could lean into his warm embrace. She felt his manhood slightly stiff and pressing at the base of her spine. She closed her eyes as she rested her head against his chest, taking in his scent and wishing that this could be the world that they lived in. Where this sort of thing could happen without consequence.

Jaime’s arms wrapped around her stomach, his hands resting just below her navel. His touch teased her and made her want for more. Cersei turned her head towards him, looking up at his sharp jawline and into his eyes that matched hers identically. She didn’t have to say a word; he leaned in and kissed her without a single exchange or a moment’s hesitation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain E material! Sorry for the hiatus, I've been swamped with school but will hopefully be able to get back at this story regularly now. Thanks for reading!!!

The siblings laid in Queen Cersei’s bed, finding themselves again battling with the guilt they’d battled with their entire adolescent lives. Her naked body was pinned into her bed, this time the most willingly it had been in months. Guilt couldn’t come from that could it? Guilt and shame came from when her husband took advantage of her, though that was for the bettering of the kingdom. What good did taking her brother to bed do?

“Please, do it quickly,” she said too softly so that Jaime was unable to hear her. He pulled his lips away from her, ceasing the tension of pressing his hips down onto hers.

“What did you just say?”

“I said, please do it quickly. If we don’t do it soon I’ll change my mind about this all.”

“Well, if you’re going to change your mind…” Jaime trailed off, as he too was beginning to get inside his own head. Guilt only not weighing down as hard when his mind was completely consumed by lust. Jaime hadn’t bedded girls who weren’t Cersei, though he’d considered it many times. This occurrence, sharing her bed even without going all the way, was something he’d assumed he’d never be allowed again - not after her rejection just before her wedding day. Thoughts raced through Jaime’s mind, as he considered that buying a whore at this hour wouldn’t be at all difficult and somehow vastly less shameful in the eyes of others. He began to sit up when Cersei pulled him back down onto her again.

“No, don’t go,” she said with hands twisting into his soft and slightly damp hair, pulling his face back down hard onto hers. “Don’t ever go.”

Jaime didn’t attempt to argue, despite the fact that she had just told him she was considering changing her mind and that he was all but ready to change his as well. He was used to his sister’s antics. If he ever stopped in an attempt to fully understand his twin he found himself unable to. More often than not, they were similar in every way. But oftentimes Cersei was far too difficult for him to even begin to comprehend.

Her legs widened, wrapping themselves around his back as her hips bucked to meet his.

“Please,” she moaned into his ear. “I want you… I need you.”

Jaime gave into her finally, after too many moments of confusion and uncertainty. With slightly awkward and nervous movements, he was soon inside of her again for the first time in what had felt like an eternity.

“Oh… Jaime..” she wasn’t careful with her volume, she’d thrown all decorum out the window.

“Someone will hear us, you fool,” he said in a low voice, followed by a pained yet satisfied grunt. He clasped a hand over her mouth, causing her eyes to widen with lust as he continued to thrust into her.

Cersei’s eyes had rolled shut, her hands clutching the bed sheets beside her. Her hips were frantic to meet her pleasures, and Jaime came to the realization that she hadn’t felt true pleasure in far too long. She struggled to contain her moans, even through Jaime’s attempts at silencing her. He latched his mouth back onto hers as he felt the beginning of his climax approaching. Cersei bit down onto his lip, causing him to jump back momentarily.

“Be careful, I’m supposed to carry the King’s son, not yours.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you carried mine,” he said, without any thought behind his words. Cersei met his eyes and pulled him back down onto her, meeting the rhythm of his hips as he rode out his orgasm. To enjoy how he felt inside her she knew was shameful, everything about this was shameful. But she relished in her pleasures for as long as the moment would allow.

Later that night she lay sleeping peacefully by her brother’s side as he was only given a few moments of sleep before his thoughts and fears kept him awake. He began to stir in the night, rising from the bed as quietly as possible so as not to disturb his Queen.

“Are you leaving me so soon?”

“I’m sorry, but you know I can’t stay.”

“I wish you could, I don’t want to ever be without her” her eyes remained closed as she fought the brink of sleep.

Jaime perused the room as he collected his clothing.

“Jaime?”

“Yes, Cersei.”

“What if I become pregnant with your child?”

“Then we’ll have an even bigger secret to keep won’t we?”

She sighed a heavy sigh and from Jaime’s perspective, seemed to fall back asleep. But Cersei barely slept a wink that night, her mind running faster than usual.


End file.
